The Struggle Within


So many changes have happened recently in my life
I don’t know if I am coming or going
It seems at times that I am just going through the
motions of life
Walking around in a haze; not really living, just existing

My shoulders feel laden with all the concerns in my mind
Deep bags lay beneath my eyes from lack of sleep
Filled with anxiety and worry I toss and turn at night,
Just laying there staring at the walls as my thoughts race

Facing another day I wonder if there will be enough to eat
To make sure there is enough, I barley do
I contemplate if I will be able to pay the bills that are due
Always wondering where I will get the money from
Constantly telling the ones I love no because I am unable to give them
the things they need

So many tears I have silently cried at night
Feeling frustrated, scared and tired
I don’t know how to deal with all that is going on
There is always something happening, a never ending struggle
How do I keep telling the ones I love it will be okay
when I truly  don’t believe it myself

I feel something growing inside and I am not sure how to
handle it
All I want to do is curl up within and hide from all around me
Will I ever get a chance to breathe, heal and enjoy life again?
Will pure laughter and smiles ever grace my face?
Or am I destined to forever live in this darkness of my life?